Dirty Little Secret
by Logie-Girl15
Summary: AU. I don't want to admit it, but I have feelings for someone. A teenage boy, no less. Does this particular blonde have feelings for me, too? God, I need help. YAOI, maybe LEMON, CRACK-PAIRING Note: This is set in the real world, if you're confused.
1. Chapter 1: Introduction

Dan POV

Feburary 3, 2013. Chapter 1: Introduction

I'm hanging out with Shocker(Pichu), Chris, Kendall, and Michi. They(minus Chris) were discussing about yaoi pairings. They were on deviantART looking at pics from various deviants. The only ones I know of that are friends with Michi and Shocker on dA that ship Me Vs. slash is MarowakGhost, Carmiliza, *rainbowflavoredkarma, FandomSketcher, Scarkreuger(however you spell it), and others I can't think of right now. The typical Me/Chris, Me/Shocker(by Shocker, no less), and others. The one that disturbs me the most though is the Me/Beavis pairing Michi somehow came up. She says it was a 'accident', but I don't buy it. She somehow got Carmiliza to draw a pic of me and Beavis making out. She said it was a request and that Carmilza loved the thought of MeXBeavis. Michi even says it's hot! Don't know why. I prefer me and Chris. Wait a minute...That...came out wrong. Oh well, it's true. Now, I don't have a problem with the whole Me/boy thing(at least not anymore), but there's something off about the Me/Beavis one. I know all of you are thinking, "Of course it's off!" or "That's disgusting!", etc, but the reason why is because it's true. That's right. I have feelings for Beavis. I don't know why. I can't really explain it. Know one knows of this, except for Shocker. Michi told me and everyone else that if something's wrong or we want to get something off our chest, we should discuss it with a trusted friend. The only people I trust are the ones I'm with now(and James), but I can't seem to bring myself to tell them. I know for a fact that Michi has feelings(or so I've been told) for Beavis. If I tell her then...No. I don't want to think of that. Shocker thought that since I can't bring myself to tell everyone for real, that I should just type it. All of you reading this must think I'm insane. Except for you, Carmiliza. Some of you might be wondering as to WHY I have feelings for the idiotic blonde from the 90s. Others might be clicking the button to go back and forgetting the idea of me and Beavis. For those of you who are interested, you have problems. Shocker just told me to say 'I'm kidding'. I'm just kidding. No, really, I am! I just want you kind people of the 'Dandom' (as you guys seem to call it) on dA and (and maybe Tumblr) to read this and think of a way to help me.


	2. Chapter 2: More introschoollove

Shocker POV

Feburary 5, 2013. Chapter 2: More intro/school/love

Hey guys! Shocker here. As you may have read in chapter 1, Dan has a crush on Beavis. And if not, then you should. He says it's disturbing. In my eyes, it isn't. Even though I wish he had a crush on Chris or Imposter(or me), it really isn't bad. I mean, it could be worse, right? He could have a crush on Butthead. Oh man that would suck! But you know, while Beavis isn't the most hansomest or smartest guy in the world, he does have his benifits. He is a very funny, witty, naive, (can be idiotic at times), sensitive and sweet guy. That's probably why most of us love him.

You know, now that I think about it, other than it being Beavis, it could also be the fact that he's an adolescent, too. Beavis is 15, while Dan is either 27 or 36. I don't really remember. And I'm supposed to be one of the most loyal fans in the Dandom. I guess it's the adventure. Where was I? Oh yeah. Uh, yeah.. it.. could.. be that.(sweatdrop)

Getting back on track, Dan has requested help from you guys. He thinks he's insane. In my opinion, he was insane WAY before this. Hell, why even say 'was', right? As I'm writing this, I'm starting to wonder why I mentioned this. I mean, if Dan really has a 'problem', then he should just forget about it and think of someone else. Right? Meh, Dan logic, I guess.

I also wonder why he hasn't told Chris yet. He should know instead of me. Not that I have a problem with knowing. It's just, Chris has been Dan's friend ever since childhood.

I'm also starting to think that instead of typing what me and Dan think of this, we should type what is going on from what we've experienced. You know what? I'm gonna do that. Heh, 'do' that.

Shocker POV still

Me and Dan are going to tell what had happened to lead up to his crush with Beavis.

I am sitting alongside Dan and Chris on a desk at San Marcos High School(where Michi goes to school), talking about Pokemon.(because shut up.)

Dan: I still don't get it.

Me: What's not to get? You go on a journey once you turn ten-

Dan: That's what I don't get! What kind of parents let their ten-year-old kid walk around the world with a super powered monster. That can't be legal!

Chris: It's just a cartoon-slash-video game-slash-card game.

Dan: Correction! It's called 'anime'.

Chris:(rolls eyes) Dan, we've been over this ever since you first asked me about Pokemon. And that was back in 1998. It's been 13 years. Get over it.

Dan: No chance.

Me:(turns to Chris) How do you put up with him? I love him and all, but how have you not just duct-taped his mouth shut?

Dan: Hey! I'm right here, you know!

Me:(turns to Dan) That's the point.

Dan:(glares at me)

Chris: When I was married to Elise, she asked questions like that, too.

Me: And?

Chris: I told her that after a while, it's just white noise.

Me: So, you're just zoning out.

Chris: Pretty much.

Dan: About her, I'm really glad you finally left her.

Chris: Well, actually she left me.

Dan: Still.

Chris: You know, you never told me why you hated Elise.

Dan: I thought we went over this.

Chris: No.

Dan:(sighs) Fine! The reason why is because when you started hanging with Elise, you had less time for me. Then when you told me you got engaged, my whole world turned to shit.

Chris: Since when was that new?

Me:(laughs)

Dan: It's not funny. I was hurt.

Me: Why, did you have a crush Chris?

Dan:(blushes/looks away) I'm not even going to justify that with an answer.

Me: So you DID.

Dan:(blushes) N-no!

Me: It's okay to tell me, Dan. We're friends, aren't we?

Dan: Just because we're friends doesn't mean I'll tell you everything.

Me: That's true.

Chris: To answer your question Shocker, he did have a crush on me. To tell the truth, I'm surprised I didn't realize it sooner. The time where I was poisoned and he was talking for me. Saying 'I love you' and things like that.

Me: Oh yeah. I remember that! (imitating Dan) "You're my best friend." "I know." "I love you." "Uh, I feel warmly towards you." (normal voice) Hey, wait a minute. How do you know he said that?

Chris: Well, while I was slowly dying of poison, I was still somehow concious. I remember wondering why I was at BurgerPhile when I should've been at the hospital. I saw Dan through a blur and thought that made sense. I also recall him setting down a cup and pointing the straw at my mouth. He said it was a treat for helping him get dynamite. Since I obviously could talk to him, he took it upon himself to speak for me. What came out his mouth shocked me. He said I love you. I've never heard him say that before.

Dan: I didn't say I love you to you. I was speaking for you. It doesn't mean I love you.

Chris: Then explain why I saw you get up from your seat to my side and kissed me.

Me:(shocked look)

Dan:(blush) I uh, you... you were filled with poison. You were hallucinating. There's no way in Hell that I slipped my tongue into your mouth and felt every little inch.

Chris:(looks at me) Heh, I didn't say you slipped your tongue into my mouth. I only said you kissed me. That could just be a little peck on the cheek or what you said.

Dan:(blushes) ...

Chris: What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?

Dan:(blushes even harder) Fuck you guys. (storms off)

Me: Hey, you can't say 'fuck' in school.

Dan:(raises his middle finger)

Me: That's not allowed either!

Dan:(outside) Kiss my ass!

Me:(pokes head out door) I might take you up on that offer!

Chris:(laughs) You just love making those kind of jokes about him, don't you?

Me: Yes. It fills me with joy. And something else.

Chris: Please don't say it.

Me: Cum.

Chris: Why did you say it?

Me: Because I know it bugs you.

Chris:(rolls eyes)

Me: Hey Chris, when Dan kissed you, how did it felt?

Chris:(blushes) W-well... It uh, was... surprisingly good.

Me: Really? So good that if you weren't poisoned, you would've kissed back?

Chris:(blushes harder) Uh, y-yes. I probably would have.

Me: Ooh. I want him even more now.

Chris: Maybe one day Dan'll screw you.

Me: Maybe.


End file.
